1. Status (always) Updated! “You won’t believe what happened at the party last night.”
Yeah, I don’t believe anything you say.
2. “Ek minute ruk ja, mujhe FB pe check in toh karne de.”
For what? Eating chooran in your bedroom!
3. “I tagged you in a photo of the mash potatoes we ate in July’11.”
Thanks. I hate you more than ever now.
4. “Yaar, why do these random people follow me on Instagram?”
Erm, precisely because you want them to?
5. “No, no. It’s just a small gathering of like 60-70 people at the tweetup.”
Are you even listening to yourself?
6. Check my status on Facebook. And oh, don’t forget to ‘like’ it.”
This doesn’t get older, it only gets more annoying.
7. “Ya ya, I know him through a common Twitter friend.”
I’ve heard that one before.
8. “Bruh, it’s #FRIDAY!”
Bruh, I don’t care.
9. “But first, let me take a selfie.”
Pfft. Go. Die.