What changes when men in ads are written by women?

Be a man. Man up. Real men don't cry. Don't be a sissy. Grow a pair.

For generations, these phrases have shaped how men see themselves and how society expects them to behave. Often perpetuated by men themselves through locker room talk and "boys will be boys" attitudes, anything remotely feminine has been treated as weakness. Advertising has played a powerful role in cementing these stereotypes, showing men exclusively in traditional roles as breadwinners and decision-makers while relegating emotional expression and domestic participation to the margins.

For example, Van Heusen's ads once showed men in dominant positions, with copy declaring "Show her it's a man's world" as subservient women served breakfast in bed. 

MaxiNutrition's ‘Milk for Real Men’ featured a shirtless, impossibly muscular man hanging one-armed from a cliff, drinking a protein shake. The ad claimed the product was "great at building lean muscles and helping you do manly things," setting unrealistic body standards and excluding anyone who didn't fit this narrow definition of masculinity.

These weren't isolated examples. They represent decades of advertising that told men who they had to be, while rarely showing who they actually were.

Even today, the gap between representation and reality persists. A 2025 Kantar report analysing Indian advertising found that 94% of ads still reinforce traditional male roles. Just 6% of male characters were shown offering respect or emotional care towards women. Household roles involving men appeared in only 1% of the ads studied. Meanwhile, 71% of men agree that "real men don't cry," though many recognise this as an outdated belief. More concerning, 41% of Millennial men and 31% of Gen Z men feel negatively represented in advertising, compared to just 15-17% of older generations.

The report found that 32% of respondents believe paternal roles for men are underrepresented in advertising, and over 60% of Gen Z men think advertising overemphasises confidence, control, and appearance.

The tide begins to turn

But something is changing. And increasingly, that change is being led by women in creative roles who are bringing a different lens to how men are portrayed in brand storytelling.

A genre of videos has emerged on the internet dissecting male characters written by women. For example, one of the most analysed is Kabir from Zoya Akhtar'sDil Dhadakne Do; a character who breaks away from Bollywood's typical alpha male mould. Viewers noticed something different: his emotional availability, his willingness to listen, his capacity to be vulnerable without losing strength. These analyses sparked conversations about what changes when women create male characters, and made me look at the patterns that extend beyond cinema into how men appear in advertising. 

The female gaze in advertising often shows up in subtle changes. It's in the grey hair that signals lived experience rather than ageless perfection. It's in the honest attempt to capture complexities rather than polish them away. It's in showing the whole self, contradictions included, rather than a single dominant trait.

When acclaimed filmmaker Gauri Shinde directed Ariel's 2019 "Sons #ShareTheLoad' film, it showed a mother realising she'd raised her children unequally and teaching her son to do laundry.

Previously, the brand's 2016 ‘Dads #ShareTheLoad’ film showed a father writing a letter to his daughter, apologising for never setting an example by helping his own wife with household chores. It was shared by Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg, who called it a vision of "a more equal world [that] would be a better world for all of us."

The #ShareTheLoad campaign, with women in critical creative and client roles, including Sonali Dhawan as Marketing Director at P&G India, has driven a shift. Between 2014 and 2018, the percentage of Indian men who believed household chores were exclusively women's work dropped from 79% to 52%. Over 1.5 million Indian men pledged to share domestic responsibilities.

The campaign continued evolving. The 2020 instalment highlighted how 71% of Indian women sleep less than their husbands due to unequal division of domestic chores. Each chapter is built on a simple insight: showing men as partners, not just providers.

Ankita Sirker, Group Head - Content at RepIndia, points to another watershed moment led by a woman: AXE's "Is It OK for Guys?" campaign, created when Laura Visco was creative director at 72andSunny Amsterdam. Using real Google search data, the campaign surfaced questions men were secretly asking: "Is it ok for guys to cry?" "...to wear pink?" "...to be the little spoon?"

"The campaign doesn't laugh at those questions and it doesn't lecture men either," Sirker explains. "It treats those searches as evidence of genuine confusion and insecurity, not as a joke. The tone is direct but empathetic: it tells men that it's normal to feel this way, and that there is nothing 'unmanly' about wanting comfort, softness, or emotional expression."

Visco has spoken openly about struggling with Axe's older, hyper-macho work and wanting to redefine what it means to be a young man today. For Sirker, knowing a woman was behind that shift matters. "That, to me, is the power of female leadership in this space—it doesn't flip the stereotype, it questions why the stereotype exists in the first place."

Kim Gehrig's direction of Gillette's ‘The Best Men Can Be’ campaign in 2019 sparked a similar global conversation. The film turned Gillette's iconic tagline into a question and showed men intervening in bullying, supporting each other emotionally, and being present fathers; a departure from the brand's history of traditional masculine imagery.

Anusheela Saha, Creative Head at DDB Tribal, found Gehrig's work memorable for showcasing what she calls "inclusive masculinity." She says, “It shows diverse men embodying strength, care, responsibility, and emotional intelligence in their everyday lives. It's all about those authentic, understated moments.”

More recently, Mohanlal's Vinsmera Jewels advertisement took an unexpected approach. The 110-second spot showed the veteran actor, known for portraying masculine characters, discovering diamond jewellery on set and quietly trying it on himself in his vanity van, moving fluidly through an almost dance-like routine. The campaign made its mark by having an actor embrace what it called "the elegant and unseen side of his personality."

What changes when women write men

The difference isn't simply about adding emotion to male characters. It's about changing the questions being asked.

Sirker observes that when women contribute to writing male characters, something subtle but valuable happens: the story makes more room for men to be unsure, to learn, and to change gradually. A lot of male characters in advertising are written in extremes, either completely closed off or suddenly transformed.

"When women contribute to the writing, I've noticed there's often more interest in the space in between: a man who is trying, not perfectly, not dramatically, but in ways that feel familiar and believable," she notes. "The focus shifts slightly from proving that he is a 'good man' to understanding what it's like for him to become one, day by day, with all the contradictions that come with that."

Many men aren't short of feeling but rather short of places where those feelings are allowed to exist without judgment. When women help shape the narrative, those spaces open up.

Pallavi Chakravarti, Founder & CCO, Fundamental, worked on ‘Khud Ko Kar Buland’ for Birla Sun Life Insurance in 2017, creating the character of Atul, a single father whose child is diagnosed with autism. “I remember when I wrote Atul’s character, it was not in the “alpha male” vein at all. He had small joys, he had big worries, he was not macho, he was vulnerable, he had grey hair, he was soft-spoken, he enjoyed a good laugh and needed a good cry; he was as real as they come,” Chakravarti reflects.

Chakravarti doesn't think the reshaping of male characters is entirely recent, but she emphasises that it requires collaboration. She doesn’t think the female gaze can take the entire credit for crafting characters like these, commenting that one needs a category, brand, and client willing to show masculinity in all its shapes and forms. 

However, she continues, “When women breathe life into male characters, they depict men who are more well-rounded, warts and all - the kind of men that women can relate to and would be comfortable with, even if they are not perfect. I’m sure there are many male writers who are as nuanced, but to women it is second nature.”

Perhaps, the most recent ad on the top of my mind is Tanishq's "Brothers, Written by Sisters" campaign for Raksha Bandhan. 

The ad film explores how siblings shape each other, showing how a sister can be a boy’s first guide to empathy, fairness, and being emotionally honest. The brother also plays an important role by being open, learning, and growing with her. 

Ria Sharma, Brand Strategy at Talented, who worked on the campaign, shares that the all-women creative team knew from day one they didn't want it to feel like a "female take" on men. They let go of usual stereotypes and shortcuts, opening space for something real to emerge.

There exists a socially acceptable archetype of a "feminist man" in popular media, Sharma notes, but rarely does anyone ask who influences his quiet rebellion. For their team, the answer felt obvious: it often starts at home, with sisters subtly nudging brothers to question systems they were raised to see as normal.

"The film, instead of forcing a new definition of masculinity or correcting anything about how men are usually portrayed, shone a bright light on their everyday tenderness, complexity, and the multitudes that a sibling relationship contains," Sharma explains. "That's what made the piece feel progressive: not a new version of men, just a complete one."

Sharma pushes back against the stereotype that women write men "softer." Instead, she argues, women have the opportunity to come in without the baggage of how male characters have traditionally been written, free to break the patriarchal rules that usually chain these characters.

"This frees us to look for motivations, not just the default behaviours of a character," she says. "Once you start focusing on why a character behaves a certain way instead of how we expect him to, the entire narrative becomes more textured."

Holding onto that perspective opens new layers: why a character hesitates, jokes, or chooses silence over grand gestures. In "Brothers, Written by Sisters," asking "What's driving him in this moment?" changed the tone of entire scenes. Ultimately, Sharma believes, it's less about gender and more about looking closely enough to portray a rooted truth that resonates.

From judgment to partnership

Tanvi Bosmia, Account Director - Brand Experience at SoCheers, worked on a Diwali campaign for Gala. “Our insight, which I believe is often missed in traditional advertising, was that the reluctance of men to participate in household cleaning is not always a lack of will, but frequently a lack of know-how. Instead of resorting to the common, guilt-tripping narrative, we chose an enabling approach.” 

They created a dedicated microsite with quick, easy how-to videos for festive cleaning, amplified by influencer partnerships and contextual ads. Over 50,000 men proactively visited the website to learn. Bosmia shares, “This demonstrates how the female gaze in advertising can foster a positive, achievable vision of modern masculinity based on partnership, not judgment.”

Bosmia explains that when women, particularly those in creative leadership, write and direct male characters, they bring an invaluable layer of empathy and realism that moves beyond commercial stereotypes. This significant shift is moving from "masculinity as performance" to "masculinity as humanity."

The nuances captured include vulnerability as strength, emotional expression and caregiving as indicators of maturity, and most importantly, showcasing men as learners making efforts to be better partners and fathers rather than instantly flawless heroes. "This shift makes the aspiration more relatable," she notes.

The traditional approach would have shown a disgruntled woman doing all the cleaning with a final shot of a man shamed into holding a broom. Instead, their insight shifted focus from "men are lazy" to "men want to contribute, they just need an on-ramp." By addressing the perceived barrier with practical, non-judgmental education, they reframed the man from antagonist to partner in progress. 

This empathetic, enabling perspective, Bosmia emphasises, is a hallmark of the female gaze. It seeks to understand the why behind behaviour, offering solutions that elevate rather than diminish.

Kantar's research shows that ads challenging male stereotypes report a 63-point lift in long-term brand equity and a 44-point increase in short-term sales likelihood. Campaigns tested with inclusive male samples, especially in personal care and household categories, performed better across demographics.

Anusheela Saha also points to the importance of showing men responding appropriately to women's authenticity. 

“When I see a woman on screen, truly being herself — unfiltered, undiluted, and unconcerned with others’ expectations — I want to see men around her respond not with surprise, judgment, or even overt praise, but with a quiet, unwavering respect.” 

She cites the Galaxy films featuring Mrunal Thakur breaking into unapologetic moments of pleasure as exactly that kind of portrayal.

On International Men's Day, these campaigns and the women behind them represent something important: they're not fixing men or creating new impossible standards. They are simply making room for men to be uncertain, to learn, to care, to need comfort. Not as a weakness, but as the fullness of being human.

When advertising finally allows men to exist beyond narrow definitions, when it shows them as partners who learn rather than heroes who already know everything, when it treats their questions and vulnerabilities with empathy rather than judgment, everyone benefits. Including the men who've been waiting, perhaps their whole lives, for permission to be real.