10 Kind of Tweeters You Probably Know

Twitter people

Everyone and his cousin is on twitter these days. Twitter addiction is now officially a condition recognized by the WHO. (Not really, but by the who’s who of the connected world, anyway.) To those still oblivious to this mini-universe of twitter, explaining what Twitter is more difficult than explaining colours to a blind person.

But if you’re one of the discerned people of the internet who has found their way into the microcosmic world of twitter, you would instantly be able to put a handle to most of the tweeple-kinds described below.

This isn’t an exhaustive list and mostly all seasoned tweeps are a blend of more than one category and mostly a little bit of all, but here’s the broad classification. So, here’s a little step towards…knowing your twitter neighbour!

Taking it with a pinch of salt preferably with some popcorn is highly recommended.

1. The Funny bones:

Everyone wants to be like them, most try hard while some actually are. Consider yourself arrived if you’re funny enough to have a follower count like that of a Balkan country’s population and your tweets get retweeted like the Mexican wave, despite being mostly from anonymous users.

Expect to see them put a funny spin on everything, right from their bio to an event seconds after it’s happened. Their tweets will mostly leave you ROTFL and by that I mean looking at your screen, chuckling away looking like an idiot to people around you, who are obviously not on twitter yet and show up as facebook statuses or BBM forwards days later.

Twitter funny people

2. The 140 character novelists:

Their tweets sound like works of micro-novelists. Explaining the exact shade of loneliness and the dance of the rainfall are some of their superpowers. There’s always a ‘he’ saying something, a ‘she’ with a wittier repartee. Their smooth words could soothe you on a cold day, send warm fuzzy feelings going on the timeline while the more extreme ones can you make you rip your eyes out at the emo-ness of it all.

twitter people

3. The Help Centre:

They’re the good samaritans or the knowledge-dispensers of Twitter! Expect to see on their TL: A generous mix of ” Please RT” tweets- dedicatedly retweeted, painstakingly drafted tweets to include links to great articles, job openings and generally helpful or good to know information.

Twitter help centre

4. The live tweeters:

Who needs a TV when you have a blow-by-blow account of all the action right on your TL? Be it football, cricket or even a debate on TV, the live tweeters tap away, with an eye on the TV screen, the other on their twitter screen, keeping you posted about every goal, missed or taken, expert analysis, sledging and curses. Heaven save your TL if you are not a football/<insert sport/event being retweeted> fan.

live Tweeters

5. The retweet machine:

One look at their TL and you know they’re here to RT. A lot. It’s like they made a twitter account to launch other tweeps into twitter famedom. Another great thing about them is that you can always follow one of them instead of a 100 tweeps and you still get their best tweets on the timeline.

twitter retweets

6. The marketers:

Twitter is their secretary, their advertising agency and their publicist. They can sell you toothbrushes to diamonds in 140 characters or less. If they’re photographers, expect to see every aperture action synced to their tweet.

The pluggers are not limited to people who actually have a profession outside of twitter but ones that plug their own twitter too with frequent rehashing of their popular tweets and links to their favstar account. ( Hall of fame of good tweets)

twitter marketers

7. The lurkers/ Orkut-returns:

They’re watching you. Your every tweet, your every reply. A typical lurker profile looks like this – 0 followers 3 tweets ( probally ‘hi’), and 528 following. They’re like the wallflower at a party, observing all the action on the sidelines, while not quite ready to get their feet dirty in the action.
Wait till they run into you in real life and go “hey so who’s that arrogant pig you were talking about ? You sounded pretty mad”. Before you have the chance to be completely befuddled by what they had heard, they go “Oh yeah, read your tweet yesterday’.
The other kind that tie in this category are the ones who found refuge in Twitter after a beloved-social site of all waned on the network. So welcome to random 40yr olds with a passport photo in a DP, hitting on teenage girls on the TL to barely out of teens girls punctuating every tweet with a <3.

Twitter

8. The personal diary:

Instead of maintaining a diary and wasting paper to record their everyday activities, trials and travails, they just….tweet it. “Just had a salmon sandwich.”, “Going to the gym”. The lazier ones just auto-sync their account with their foursquare keeping their followers updated about their whereabouts should they need to be spied on or better still ‘twitpic’ it.

Their twitter is their sun that revolves around them. The lurkers feed on them and the n00bs hold on to their tweets like the Holy grail.

Twitter personal

9. The n00bs:

They have a perpetual “Where am I? Why am I here” syndrome? Usually from first few weeks or depending on how quickly you catch up, could last upto a lifetime into twitter. Classic signs to spot a n00b? Usually full name in handle and name, follow more than have followers, reply and/or RT to pretty much every mention.

10. The real world celebs:

They have as mad following on twitter as in real life. People cling on to them more for their tweets on what is happening with them offline rather than the tweet-value itself. So expect to see Bollywood celebs on twitter with millions of followers, giving the box office a run for its money and even a ” Just had breakfast. Now going for a run!” gets a million RTs by crazy star-worshippers.
Megan Fox, who joined twitter a few days back has over 10mn followers already! If it’s your birthday, forget cake and gifts, just ask the aforementioned celeb for an RT :)

celebrity on Twitter

Like it, love or, or have no idea what it is and why it is, the power of twitter is here to stay and the sooner you catch up, the more looped in you are with the digital movers & shakers. What’s your tweeting style?

Featured Image By: Rosaura Ochoa

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